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Showing posts from July, 2021

The Ever-Evolving Definition of Fitness, Transness, and Outdoor Recreation

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  Skeeter Sato CW: body image, eating disorder I used to furiously exercise; I was angry at the world, and the elliptical in front of me, angry that I was moving in a body that wasn’t mine. My relationship to exercise became toxic when I started developing physically. As an AFAB (assigned female at birth), I was hyper-aware of my changing body, and was terrified of it. When my breasts started to grow and my hips no longer fit in my brother’s old Nike shorts, I started to run. I ran until my body started shutting down, I ran until I couldn’t feel my body any longer, I ran until my ankle broke and I ran until all I identified with was my mile PR and nothing else. I became a conglomerate of toxic numbers and terror-- I didn’t want to keep running, but I was afraid that if I stopped, I would have to face my growing body. After many years in treatment, a gap year before college, and numerous injuries, I finally slowed down, and started to enjoy less strenuous activities. My running career w